Ghostly Existence
by xxiggi44
Summary: After an accident Bella goes missing. Edward is on the case to figure out the mysterious disappearance and to find Bella. But what if she hasn't gone missing at all... Read, review and enjoy!
1. Preface

PREFACE:

**PREFACE:**

**BPOV:**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer...even though I wish I did. **

**A/N: By the way, Edward is NOT leaving Bella, so please don't let it mislead you…Dx**

With closed eyes I had my head between my knees, hoping for some warmth to come; it was barely successful. I kept rocking back and forth; any movement could make all the difference, now.

My thoughts revolved around Edward, clinging to the blissful memories. I have experienced so much more than life would have offered in 100 years, without Edward. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, I sighed; his name makes me shiver in delight.

From that perspective I was lucky; lucky that Edward chose me. Why, boring, plain, clumsy old me? I still wonder, to today, why that god chose some insignificant little person. How lucky I was. … Was? I exhaled slowly, deeply and with sorrow.

Lucky to have had this phenomenon thrust upon my life to alter it dramatically, forcing me to fall in love with someone, beyond amazing.

Just how lucky I was to be in his presence even, to have him by my side; metaphorically and literally is astonishing.

I am incredibly lucky to be capable to share my deepest feelings and express my emotions vividly and honestly with him.

I was truly blessed to have such a caring and loving confidant. Someone whose love for me was just as potent as mine for him; we would sacrifice our lives for each other, without hesitating.

Without Edward, there is no life.

I tried to create our meadow, in front of my eyes, in an attempt to calm my agitated self. I imagined it with Edward, sparkling in the dim sunlight.

Now only positive thoughts were running through my mind, however that was a fantasy world; I returned to reality, as there is a fine distinction between optimism and fantasy; I was tipping slightly to the realm of dreams.

These were the thoughts drifting through my mind, which seemed somewhat superficial right now, as I opened my eyes.

Then I realised the severity of the previous events.

I was alone.

I had abandoned my life, unintentionally, with no way to elude this unfamiliar world.

I had vanished from my world...

From my Edward's world...

**A/N: YAY I've got the preface up. I'll add chapter one in a few days. **

**Huge thanks to Moni aka myf.13 for betaing this and will continue betaing for the rest of this story. **

**Moni, you rule the universe with your almighty words.**

**Read and Review, Thanks!**

**-- People in Banana suits like to be hugged **** --**


	2. Obsession

Chapter 1: Obsessed

**Chapter 1: Obsession**

_**BOV**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Twilight, Stephanie Meyer does!**_

**A/N : All italics are either flashbacks or thoughts.**

I sat, and stared hopelessly through my bedroom window from my mahogany desk. The rain was pounding the glass, creating a loud, thumping clatter. I hadn't seen the sun, or even the sky for a days.

The storm was obviously not letting off soon. Stupid Rain. Stupid Forks. Well I couldn't say I hated Forks as it was actually my favorite place to live, but this weather was almost unbearable. Almost- it was endurable because of my beloved, Edward; I did this for him.

When I first arrived at Forks, I was astounded by the beauty but soon found underlying horrors; rain and fog. It was a real pain soaking your feet and socks and having to wear heavy jackets everyday of every year.

When the occasional sun peeped out, it reminded me of Phoenix; the place I loved. It also reminded me of my only love, Edward and his appearance in the sun. The utmost beauty one could see.

Just contemplating him, I feel overwhelmed with feelings of love. Edward. Him. The one and only. I was such a sucker for this romance.

My eyes wandered to the clock, not to far from where I was sitting.

Only 11:47am

Is that all? I swear it has been hours, days almost. I thrived for Edward; his voice, his touch. Whenever I was left alone it was to think of him.

He was my drug. A drug of love. I feel almost naked when he isn't around. It feels almost wrong not to be sharing each others warmth, metaphorically speaking. It feels wrong for him not to be standing beside me, waiting for my turn to kiss him.

I gazed at the empty bed. He was there, only a few hours ago.

_It was still dark. The moonlight split through my window. Edward lay beside me resting on his side, facing me. He pulled his head toward me and gave me a passionate kiss. Maybe too passionate, too persuasive.. _

"_Bella, do you really want to go through with this bet?"_

"_Edward, its ok, we can easily win."_

"_But what if you get hurt while I'm away? You know how you and trouble is a made mix…a magnet…"_

"_Edward. It's fine. Don't worry about me." I paused and have him a sweet smile. "And if anything happens Alice will see it coming, right?"_

_I leaned in and our lips met. My heart paced hastily, pounding loudly, resulting in me going red. But I didn't care anymore. I loved it. _

"_But then I wouldn't be able to kiss you when ever I wanted," he gave me a pleading look, but underneath it I could see his childish smile._

_I smirked._

"_How about we make up for it now?" It was supposed to be seductive. And it seemed to work when I saw a sneaky spark, glint in his eyes._

"_Sure. Anything for you" He whispered and leaned in. I pulled him on top of me and began to make out. Edward was still cautious and I didn't want to push him. _

_I pulled away and whispered in his ear._

"_Edward, I love you always."_

_Edward smiled and replied with a kiss on the cheek. _

"_I know that Bella, and I'll keep on loving you forever. Don't ever forget that Bella. I'll be with you for eternity…"_

I laughed at the idea of Emmett and Jasper being beaten at their own game. Serves them right. The idea of the bet seemed stupid; not seeing Edward for 48 hours, but I have to say, it was ending up a real challenge.

I was surprised when I was the one that had actually suggested it in the first place. Maybe it was my sub-consciousness acting. Maybe I was really choking myself with all this romance.

"I just need a little space", I whispered to myself. The drug of love was removing me from reality. I needed to accept it once again.

I just hoped I could have some 'me time', but had failed, miserably I might add. The rain was mainly at fault. The weather forecast had said it would be clearing. But just look outside to se how badly they were wrong. I can't blame it all entirely on the weather forecast people.

I could always read, cook, do other hobbies. I could even catch up with old friends via the phone. Or even call Renee. Actually that wasn't too good of an idea as I had already talked to her a little while ago and I didn't want to seem like I had too much time on my hands, even though I did.

I could try and call Angela again. The last time I tried she was engaged. Likely talking to her boyfriend, Ben. And I don't really feel like talking to anyone else. So basically I'm bored and I don't feel like doing anything.

"This is ridiculous!" I moaned whilst I jumped up. I've had enough of this! I was going to go to the Cullen's. To see that one bronze haired boy; Edward. Now I was determined.

I raced down the stairs, bounding three at a time (making sure that I wouldn't fall on the way) and grabbed my coat. I stepped outside to battle the howling winds and treacherous rain. I bolted to the truck. I was slipping and sliding all the way to the door but managed not to fall flat on my face, some how.

Every step I was cursing under my breath. Damn weather. I hopped into my car and slammed the door. My hands automatically directed towards the heater, turning it up straight away. I was totally set on getting to the Cullen's. I pulled out of the driveway and began the journey

I sat in a determined manner, eyes set concentrating on the road ahead. I could hardly hear anything but the noise of the heavy drops of water hitting the roof. My wind-screen wipers had no effect on clearing away the oncoming rain. It was extremely hazardous to drive but I would risk it.

Edward would be at my aid if anything happened right? And anyway, there would be hardly any traffic on the roads. There was hardly any traffic to begin with in Forks, so in this weather I was probably the only person driving. This meant I wouldn't crash into someone.

I drove my familiar route, but at the same time I had no idea where I was going. It all looked the same; wet. The rain had affected my vision. I checked my watch.

I must be around the turn in to the Cullen's lot. Pushing forwards, I kept my eyes open for it. I kept driving. All I could now make out through the rain was the lush green trees traveling beside me. I was going down a long dirt road. I suddenly got the feeling I was getting lost. I probably missed the turn in, the only result I could think of.

Suddenly, something enormous jumped out onto the road. It was so fast, I couldn't see it clearly.

Panic.

I screamed and set my foot on the brake, but my car kept moving, then began to slide and spin. I turned furiously with the steering wheel, trying to stop it from its movement. But it seemed to have no effect and I was still careering into the trees.

Tears were flowing. I was going to die. I knew it. But why? Where was he? Where was my Edward?!

"Edward!" I shrieked. And at that moment I felt the impact of my head crashing into the steering wheel and the intense pain. But only momentarily. It was soon gone.

Gone into the darkness…

"_Edward, I love you and eternally we will be together, love binding us."_

**A/N : So chapter one is up. I'm going to update about twice a week from now on, mainly beacuse of school. Lets hope that the next chapter will be posted by about Tuesday or Wednesday.**

**As always, thanks to Moni for her help with this – without you I would have given up ages ago.**

**Mkay. So the main song that I was listening while writing this was Closer and You're Making It Come Alive both by My Favorite Highway.**

**Go listen to them. ******

**Alrighy then,**

**Reviews make me write faster and they motivate me muchly. So read, review and enjoy !**


	3. Vision

Chapter 2: Snow

**Chapter 2: Vision**

**EPOV**

**Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Twilight and its characters, even though I desperately wish to have my own awesome vampire boyfriend.**

**All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

**A/N: All italics are either thoughts or flashbacks.**

I sat aimlessly at the black and white beauty in front of me; my beloved piano. I stared down at the ivory keys and black polished wood blankly. To the inside my core, out I felt awfully restless, no more than that, pained. I didn't know what to do with myself. My music interest had lasted maybe half an hour? Not enough.

I sighed.

I reflected on my old life. Dull. Meaningless. Comparing to now, it seemed almost lifeless. I wasn't hoping for anything and I didn't seem to be looking forward to anything in particular.

Then Bella was pushed in front of me, creating conflict, for the good, I thought. It was as if I was just riding along life, closing my eyes and when I opened them my world had changed significantly. And to the better I might add.

I flexed my fingers and gently lay them over the keys. But I felt no passion, no drive, just the need to play. But just sitting there, I felt satisfied – pondering. Well I did have much more time on my hands, lately.

I sighed. I had a little aching pain of loneliness. It reminded me of the days when Bella had first moved to Forks and I had tried to avoid her, even though I desperately wanted to reach out and touch her.

So much had happened.

_Don't tell me you're going to break your promise_

I looked up. It was Rosalie. She walked up to me smiling.

"Sounds tempting, but no. I'm sticking to what I say," I gave a smug smile and she laughed.

_Whatever you say._

I looked at her inquisitively. My eyes narrowed. Something seemed off. Was I going to loose the bet? Did Alice see something?

But she usually didn't let things like this slip, and anyway, wasn't she against this bet in the first place? I opened my mouth to speak but she held up her hand.

"I'm starting to think that Emmett and Jasper were right"

And with that she turned away and headed upstairs throwing a silent laugh over her shoulder.

Argh, why was she toying with me like this?! Stupid bets. How could I survive a weekend without seeing Bella once? God this was irritating, I really do need to see her soon.

I guess I still need to respect the fact that she needs her space, especially from me. She needs to accept her humanity. That is much harder when you are hanging out with a vampire almost 24/7.

My lean, long fingers began to flow over the keys, notes filling my ears. I closed my eyes and focused on the euphonic melody. It began to paint an image in my mind. Snow. I loved the snow. In fact today was the second fall of the season. I would be out with Emmett and Jasper taking full advantage of the weather but we would save it for tonight to continue with our battles.

Slowly, my thoughts began to drift. I suddenly pulled my thoughts out of my sub-consciousness when I could hear a almost too-familiar tune playing. I suddenly realised it was Bella's lullaby.

Dammit!

I immediately pulled my fingers away from the piano and stood. I was frustrated by my own obsession. I paced quickly to the door and opened it to go outside, only to hear a little laugher behind me, coming from none other than Emmett and Jasper.

I growled.

Stupid bets.

_Flashback_

We sat in the lounge room all lying lazily on the ground, staring at a game board. Rosalie seemed to have gotten bored of the game and was playing with Emmett's hair.

_Finish already so we can leave this. Fuck monopoly_

I looked over the Alice, she seemed to be concentrating on the game. Monopoly was one of the games that prevented her from using her visions. At every go, the players would change and re make up their mind, therefore altering the visions, but it seemed that she started to smile to herself. This was no good. She had figured out the winner.

I tightened my firm grasp around Bella's waist as she sat in my lap. I inhaled her scent. Bliss.

"Just go Emmett. Stop acting like a sore loser" Alice laughed.

"It's not fair! As if I could win now, I may as well leave, now."

He began to stand in all seriousness.

"No!" yelled Bella. "You'll defeat the purpose of the game!"

_Hmmph, sure._

He resumed his previous sitting position and gave a pout like a little child that had just lost his seat in the musical chairs. If any girl would have seen that face I swear the whole world would be chasing and praising him, until the universe's end.

"How about we play an ACTUAL game?" emphasized Emmett, with a challenging edge to his voice.

"Pfft, you're such a loser, Emmett," Alice argued, clearly aware of his ideas.

"Well Monopoly is a loser game anyway…I know-"

Truth or dare

"No!" I yelled, making everyone jump. They eyed me suspiciously.

"I don't want Bella involved. It's just going to cause trouble."

I remembered the days when playing games like this was a serious practice, and was rather harsh with vampires as players.

"But-"

"No" I repeated. Everyone suddenly realized what Emmett was talking about.

"Well we can play without you then!"  
He turned to Jasper with a smile. Jasper just gave a shrug in response.

"It isn't fun with only a few people. We need more players."

Emmett gave a frown of disappointment and shrunk back.

_Stupid Edward…_

I gave him a warning glance when Rosalie suddenly spoke up.

"Well I bet you couldn't spend one minute without Alice," defended Rosalie eyeing Jasper.

She rubbed her hands down Emmett's arm, to help him feel better from his sulking. He obviously wasn't in a good mood today.

"I could so..." Alice gave him an offended stare.

"What…" Jasper stared back, wide eyed.

There was an awkward silence as everyone was planning on what to do next.

I felt Bella shift slightly in my lap. I kissed down her neck and smiled. I don't know what I could have done without Bella. She started to talk unexpectedly.

"Well how about….if I can stay away from Edward all this weekend, me and him have all of you under our mercy, vica-versa."

I paused, quite shocked by her request but then began to smirk. Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and Alice under my control. All the things I could do...

_Ha! Piece of cake, as if she couldn't leave him_

_This is going to be easy_

_We're totally gonna win_

Everyone eyed each other.

"Perfect, we have a bet then. This can be our game then." Bella said with confidence.

Alice looked around again

"I don't want to be apart of this bet. It's sorta….lame," she gave a shrug and laughed.

"But Al…"

"I'm sorry." Again she laughed it off.

Bella looked to me to see how I was taking this and to see if I was alright with it.

"It's fine." I whispered in her ear.

But how was I going to survive the weekend without my precious Bella?

_End of Flashback_

As I stepped out into the snow my walking became slower until I eventually stopped entirely. God, why was I so worked up about this?

I sat down in the snow, cross legged and picked up a bunch of snow in my hands. I smiled. Snow. One of the only things on this planet that still felt cold under my touch. It was one of the only things that felt close to my old self and my humanity. I laughed softly to myself for sitting in the snow as I was. How childish.

Oh how I loved the snow. Oh how I loved Bella...

I looked up.

Something was wrong.

I closed my eyes and focused on Alice's mind:

A truck, that familiar truck.

Driving.

And suddenly

It vanished

"…Bella?"

**A/N : Woot. ITS DONE.**

**Sorry for posting this a little late. I guess I didn't have as much motivation as I did for the first chapter.**

**Myf.13…yes the famous MONI helped beta this awesome chapter for you guys. I hope you enjoyed it !**

**Please Review !**

**Hmm song choice this time ?**

**T'will be…**

**Worthless – A Thorn For Every Heart**

**Alrighty, My next update should be on Tuesday.**

**:D**

**Enjoy and Please Review !**

"_I love you."_


	4. Vanish

CHAPTER 3: EPOV Vanish

**CHAPTER 3: EPOV **

**Vanish**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight and its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer**

**A/N: Before you start, I think some people may have gotten the wrong impression of the last chapter. The van vanished...so something is up but we don't know if Bella is dead or not…**

**Anyways, enjoy.  
**

Oh no, no, no. Not to my Bella, no.  
The initial emotion, of sorrow hit me hard; I would sacrifice everything for my Bella's safety, anything.

My insides collapsed as panic swelled into my body, it was unbearable, not knowing where my love was. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to her- and it is my entire fault; I should have never left her out of my sight, what a naïve and imprudent mistake.

My face distorted into a pained, contrite expression. The remorse was too much, not only that; the confusion too.

Oh god, what if Bella wasn't alright, what the hell was going on?! Multiple outcomes flashed before my eyes, I hastily scrunched them up, in hope of pushing the thoughts away.

"Bella…" I breathed, my voice, unrecognizable.

My thoughts had pulled my mind from reality, with the unthinkable events that plagued me; I was oblivious to Alice, approaching me.

"Edward," she whispered, bleakly.

I slowly turned to face my sister, composing myself, hoping it would not reflect the agony, behind the mask. Alice, however was past that; her face, contorted in misery and distress, for what she thought as her sister.

"Alice… Bella…? Wha- what's going on?" I voiced my thoughts.

She closed her eyes and shook her head, implying she too had no clue.

The pain was too much, I held my unessential breath, I was almost delirious with worry.

Damn this bet, this situation, we were presented with, would have never happened without a stupid bet. But Emmett and Jasper were not to blame, it didn't matter; I just had to fix it.

With no further delay, I raced, with my abnormal speed, to her house, only this time, as I ran, I felt no exhilaration… Just my numb body, willing me to push faster.

Frantically, I searched the empty void, where her Chevy should be. The secluded parking spot, triggered an alert, as panic erupted, again.

She had already gone.

I cleared my mind, in need of a plan, to think what the possibilities were; I ran my fingers through my hair, clearly frustrated. I pinched the bridge of my nose, full of vexation.

Danger magnet. What an understatement.

My mind came into sudden realisation, as to what was the best action to take; follow her scent.

Simultaneously I shut my eyes, and inhaled deeply, filling my nostrils with air, searching for her superlative scent.

Almost instantly I recognized the familiar fragrance. How could I ever misplace that smell of complete and utter bliss? I found hidden exuberance, gushing down my body, as the sensation of her blood washed over me.

My senses treaded a path before me, to follow, guiding me to my Bella, my only love; my life.

"Please. Please…" I whispered meekly, to someone, anyone, to guide me to my beloved.

Please. To my Bella.

Recognition dawned upon me; the path I was following was the route to my home. The slightest wave of relief raced through me, almost forcing a timid smile.

I exhaled, dramatically, pondering the plausibility of my current thoughts; what if she had arrived at my place, safely. Perhaps, nothing was wrong; the worry could be a mere experience, a simple memory.

However, this aplomb diminished, as I became anxious; the sudden wash of hope, was fake, a solace, which lasted, no more than a few seconds.

The truth, however, was a few steps in front, and would unleash its woes soon. I eyed the area, striving to see where her Chevy would have gone.

Her scent pushed my forwards, and doubt became the more dominant emotion. I was torn from any optimistic thought that I ever felt; any blissful memory was ripped from me, as I neared the accident.

The hope had been shattered; into thousands of pieces, the shards that remained, stabbed me, internally.

_Oh god._

This was nearing impossible, insufferable; I had to seek her, help her. I needed my Bella.

A small ounce of determination pushed me onwards; as if I had managed to find one small piece of a broken jigsaw puzzle.

My eyes narrowed on the path before me, and I sped, gracefully down the road. The anticipation, almost of finding Bella, assisted me, to persevere along the icy road.

Oh, how I needed to see her, to hear her ever so comforting laugh, to see her breathless smile and to see her beautiful eyes. How badly I avidly waited to be with her, hold her, to assure her. I just had to feel her warm skin and to feel her soft lips pressed passionately against my own.

If my desires, or necessities were not met, I was certain of myself, that I would collapse; at the moment, I was on the verge subsiding.

Something was suddenly wrong.

I paused, wide eyed in shock and disbelief. Her scent…was gone?! It merely vanished. I immediately froze, frowning deeply, I inhaled again; nothing.

I pulled my frozen hands to my chest, where the ache pulsed, I tugged at my heart; an instinctive reaction, of holding it in place. The astonishment, and fear, was threatening, for it to fall apart.

I also noticed the missing tyre tracks.

The jolt of frustration was overwhelming; without her scent, it felt as if I had lost her. Loss and failure sliced any dignity left; without any physical proof of her bring, she was no longer here. I had lost her.

Not understanding why or how this was possible, images flickered through my head of possible actions, leading up to this, however nothing made sense.

She just couldn't of gone, she was somewhere, in need of help and I was now motivated to find her, fast.

Bella can't have disappeared off the face of the Earth. I was as if, she just…

Vanished.

The only remains left of my sweet, angelic Bella were, sheer memories, and creations of my imagination.

The aspect I did seem to comprehend was the raw fact, that this was my entire fault; I sacrificed her safety, for revenge on my brothers. I would never forgive myself for this; if I found Bella… or if… I…

I couldn't even say, or think it to myself, the severity of those words, punctured me; how I was unworthy of Bella, oh god, how I have betrayed her, once again.

I was mentally unset, unable to grasp the fact. I felt a sick feeling brewing at the pit of my stomach. A mixture of guilt, shame, pain and the possibility I may never see her again.

_Oh god. Oh god!_

_What the hell was going on?!_

I noticed my hands were shaking slightly. I decided the best, would be to take a large intake of air, then close my mind, to think, as clearly and as inhumanely possible.

The seriousness of the situation, became profound; if I failed to see her, I would have to go to Italy, again. How it would tear my family, but the only choice left; I could not live without my Bella.

The only thing for me to do was leave.

I left back to the house afraid, afraid of what had and will happen to my beloved Bella.

_Come back_

I prayed to her.

_Just come back_

**A/N: Alright, Hope ya'll enjoyed it!**

**Song this week is one I have an addiction too. Its calmish and nice.**

**Lapse – Envy On The Coast.**

**Guys, I need help for motivation. Please review me! It makes me write faster, so Moni doesn't get annoyed Dx**

**Yes again, I owe Moni the credit for beta-ing this.**

**Truly marvellous. **

**So guys, liked it? Hated it? Something wrong? Just review your opinon xD**

**Xx Izzy.**


	5. Alive

**Chapter 4: Alive.**

**BPOV**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to the admirable Stephenie Meyer.**

**  
**The initial sense, to awaken was sound; gradually I could hear faint noises, in the distance. The source of the sound was where the forest became dense, and impenetrable.

I listened vigilantly, as rustling of leaves, entered my vicinity of hearing. The disturbance, irked me slightly, possibly, the paranoid qualities, being pulled to the surface.

Chafed, that I had been interrupted from the tranquillity of unconsciousness, I unwillingly pulled myself to reality. The background noise, vanished for only a moment, then the snap of twigs, and branches occurred, leaving me, perplexed.

The thought of something, or someone, entered my mind, for only a moment, then was quickly pushed away, creating unwanted panic and vexation; I was never a morning person.

At that point, I had just realised, something vital to my well-being. My demeanour was now optimistic, at my sudden comprehension; I was not dead.

A wave of relief momentarily washed away the anxiety, as I experienced warmth, once again. I felt an abrupt sense of aplomb, and began to attempt in moving my fingers, slightly. Afraid at the prospect that I might not be able to, I moved my fingers slowly, and cautiously.

Procrastinating, I pretended that it was necessary, in an accident to stay stationary, for the time-being. Recognizing the lie, I lifted my head from the air bag, feeling dizzy.

Almost, simultaneously I avidly wanted to rest my head, in its original position, as the throbbing began. Instead of succumbing to the tormenting pain, I persisted in keeping up-right, so with my new determination I lent my head back, to rest on the seat.

I don't think I could bare it if I opened my eyes, so they remained shut. The undeniable emotions that swept through me chilled my insides.

I was absolutely petrified.

I ignored the fact, that soon, I would have to face the truth, but for now, I wanted to hold onto any dignity left; I avoided the outcomes of this terrifying experience.

I let a small intake of breath, as I lay out the possibilities.

Maybe I had killed something. Maybe my beloved Chevy was beyond, even Rosalie's repair. Well actually, I was certain that it was, but nevertheless, the thought scared me.

Or worse still, I was trapped, in an unescapable position.

However, the worst of outcome, loomed, upon me; for Edward not being there, beside me, creating a well needed solace.

I couldn't keep myself hiding, in the dark forever; I opened my eyes.

I scanned my surroundings, using peripheral vision, as moving my head was beyond me. I searched for a face, with radiating beauty, the face I was so familiar with, the face I loved.

A tear escaped my eyes, as I knew I was alone, in the midst of a forest, some where. The feeling overwhelmed me, flooding my veins with sorrow. My heart was bleeding, internally; almost to the extent of that September evening.

I took a while to absorb the environment in, look at the sombre ground before me. Green as always, trees, omnipresent, I could expect nothing less, in Forks, but also there, lay before me, was a bare, lifeless ground, with no suggestion of life, anywhere.

I noticed a deer standing not far from where I was positioned. My mind concluded that this had been the culprit for the earlier sounds. Only an innocent deer, creating little fuss; was causing myself distress, over a trivial reason. What did I expect to be there? Certainly nothing larger than a deer ever lingered around here, in Forks.

My attention was pulled away from the speculation.

I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. I was an epitome of your worst nightmare; the star role, as the monster.

The pallid zombie that looked back at me was horrific. I looked away; my own eyes were penetrating deep into myself, but I needed to digest my own reflection, so tentatively, I gazed back to the mirror.

My eyes were droopy, filled with grief and contrite, for the previous happenings. The once full, pink lips, were now, cut and bruised, and ill-coloured.

My whole complexion was distorted, into a monster; scars, predominantly reoccurring. Under my eyes, lay circles, as I would euphemistically call them.

Aghast, I tilted my head, away, in hope to erase the picture, unsuccessfully.

I was repentant of my actions, to ever bring up the bet; if only, if only… The debacle, I had brought everyone into, was shown before my eyes, and I grimaced, for my stark future.

I shook my head, unnoticeably, trying to escape my own feelings, wincing slightly at the pain.

However, I knew that glooming over the events would do nothing; I had to elude from this place.

I sighed, in premature failure, as I attempted to drive my worn truck. Even my sturdy truck, could not defeat the damage; the truck failed to start.

Frantically, I attempted to calm my uncontrollably shaking hands, as I fiddled with the keys, to turn the ignition on.

They fell out and I reluctantly bent over to pick them off the floor. I winced, groaning loudly in pain as the blood rushed to my head.

Eventually, I managed to place the keys back into the ignition and twist it on. My truck created a noise, which caused me to jump, slightly.

The sound produced was not one of a healthy car, but in this situation it was a sign of possible hope.

Subsequently, I attempted once more. Then continuously; determined to succeed. Unexpectedly, the roar of the engine erupted and remained to awaken to surrounding wildlife. My mouth twisted into a small smile. For once, something was going in my favour.

Still a little disorientated, I carefully thought through in which direction to head for. Soon enough, I had navigated the truck from its awkward position, to reinstate it, back on the road, heading towards town.

This effort consumed most of my energy; my concentration was wavering as the already severe migraine, was intensifying.

But I had to move on.

An invisible pull, dragged me along, to my destination.

I staggered down the road, swerving to the opposite lane, as my concentration continued to lapse. Cautiously, I drove at a bare 50km/h, as at this time, I had to force my eyes open.

The original turn-in, crept closer and lured me in; I craved Edward's company, to inform him I was OK. However, it went further; I needed to confirm his being; that he had not disappeared, as if a fragment of my imagination. Was that the reason he did not come to my aid; was it possible he did not exist?

No.

I inwardly scolded myself; how could I ponder such things? As my Edward, always told me, I am absurd. Of course he is real. Edward, my beloved, my solace, my only love, my fiancé, my… everything was authentic.

I followed, what seemed the never-ending path, which led to my family. The return of relief flooded my system with thoughts of bliss; everything was going to be alright.

My eyes brightened, in glee as I observed that the familiar silver Volvo was perfectly parked parallel, in the driveway. Edward was here.

I parked the wreck, behind his car and stumbled out and got to my feet. I sighed at the contrast between the two cars; reminding me of the Greek God, vs. plain old me.

I smirked at the analogy, however, these thoughts soon drifted, as I approached the door, frankly not caring of the controversial state I was in.

**  
A/N: Izzy here again. **

**I just started reading 'The Host' by the lovely Stephenie Meyer, and I must say it's really getting good. Of course it can't compare to Twilight, but still quite entertaining. Go read it xD**

**Moni, my biggest helper, betaed this chapter – what a surprise.**

**Hope you enjoyed it!**

**Song of the chapter is:**

**Tired and Uninspired – My American Heart**

**Please Review.**

**- izzy **


	6. Understanding

Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

**Understanding**

**BPOV**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. They belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

I attempted to exit my truck casually, yet ended up stumbling down, tripping on my weak ankles. More pain.

I sighed for my misfortune, but stood up at the thought of Edward embracing me, for are reunion. I leaned awkwardly against my truck for support, peering through the colossal house, in search of my family.

Where was everyone?

This was peculiar; every time I arrived at the Cullens', they would rush to my side, with greetings, and hugs. Edward would especially ensure my safety, by sweeping me into his potent arms, followed by brushing his lips upon my own.

Something was wrong.

I yearned for my Edward, to rescue my lost soul; I was nothing without him. I besought him immediately, to hold me in his granite arms, reassuring me, that everything will be ok. The tears brewing in my eyes were hastily dismissed, as I knew they would do no good.

I precariously staggered forward, believing that he would appear at any second.

But every second past.

He was not coming.

I sobbed wistfully; unable to hold back the overwhelming emotions, and then paused, reflecting on the situation.

I needed to lull myself; every possible outcome, couldn't be all that bad. I haven't even looked inside, maybe they Everything would be fine. I haven't even gone inside yet, maybe they are anticipating my turn, within the confines of the house.

I closed my eyes, cleared my mind and inspired deeply to ease my mind. The affects were minimal, however it was enough to pull me forwards, slowly.

I stumbled with each step as my concentration wavered. The physical aspects were nothing on the emotional, yet so fierce my legs were on the verge of collapsing.

I grabbed hold of anything close, to take less pressure off my legs, although I couldn't find anything of use. My face was contorted into a permanent frown, as I endeavoured to attain contact of the front door.

I outstretched my arm, on the final step, to touch the smooth, wooden surface. As my fingers lay contact on the door my mental state improved its stability, and became more determined; I would enter this house and greet my family.

The thought of Edward motivated me further. I _had _to get inside.

I grasped the handle desperately and without hesitation, turned the brass knob and gently pushed it door open.

The initial occurrence that caught my attention was the noise. Voices. My heart leaped with relief that they were home. My heart hammered swiftly as the sound broke the silence from before. Palliation circulated me; I could hear him.

But to see him… I willed myself onwards, to the living room; the source of the sound.

I lumbered, faltering continuously, although the grin could not wipe of my face, as I was only mere metres from the beautiful face I love.

I hobbled my crippled-self, as fast as my legs could haul me across the marble floor. Soon enough, I was staring at the Cullen's flawless faces. I was absolutely positive that I would be squished by the stampede of loping vampires, or at least a powerful embrace from Edward, at the moment of my arrival.

Nothing.

I was immediately devastated, as my family remained positioned in the chairs around the table. I stared at Edward's face, which faced down to the wooden surface before him. Tears began to flow down my cheeks as I slowly stumbled forwards.

"Edward…" I whispered, knowing his love had falling short for me.

"Edward," I increased my volume, in hope that by some chance he missed my first call.

"Ed-"I sighed, in mid-word, giving up.

At that moment Edward glanced up, his eyes wide in fear, staring into me… almost through me. His demeanour was considerably different to the one that I loved; his face was torn in pain and desperation, his hope clearly fading, by each second.

I was horrified that I was the cause of his pain, as I always was. I knew that the extent of his agony and sorrow could only be created the deplorable human I am.

This placed my heart in turmoil. I whispered his name once more, in vain. My eye never moved from his. I needed his touch…I needed him.

He turned away.

Faith and hope were draining from my very soul. I turned to the remaining of the family and called their names. Excluding the slight glance in my direction, no one seemed to notice me.

"Why?" I asked painfully; such a simple question held my heart frozen.

I collapsed to the floor, as my emotional tiger within was let out of its cage; the tears flowed into my hands, soon the bowl was too shallow and the pool was split to the ground.

Had all our blissful memories vanished from their minds? But they're vampires… Does that mean they have forgotten about me?

Maybe my life was a dream.

Thoughts pulsed through my mind, none were logical, just increasing my gravitational pull, as my heart throbbed.

Their somewhat livid voices brought me back.

"Impossible. This is absurd; how can this happen?! Not to Bella… not to my sister," Alice squabbled hastily, in an urgent manner.

"Maybe she ran away…" Emmett whispered in a strained voice, rather than his normal boisterous ways.

"Emmett!" Alice scolded at the ludicrous comment.

"But how can she disappear like that?!" Edward yelled in a hoarse voice, whilst knocking his chair backwards, as he began to pace.

"To disappear like that, the werewolves have to be involved," Carlise contributed.

Edward stopped walking, his eyes flashed dangerously. Everyone suddenly knew he had come to a hasty conclusion.

"Edward, we should think this thro-"

"THINK?! ARE YOU OBLIVIOUS TO EVERYTHING? THIS IS OBVIOUSLY THE DAMN DOGS; WHAT OTHER CONCLUSION CAN YOU COME TOO?" Edward roared.

I flinched back in horror, intimidated by Edward and the atmosphere he had just created.

"But…what if it's not the werewolves? They have no true motive behind this." Esme sided with Alice. She stood up and placed a reassuring hand on Edward's shoulder.

He inhaled slightly, which seemed to calm his nerves, but beneath he was still boiling with rage; now Jasper was incapable of controlling everybody's feelings, as the anger was too much.

"True motive? Ha… Of course, they want to kidnap Bella," Edward laughed darkly.

Carlise put up his hand, gesturing Edward that he was wrong.

"Why would they want her now? Of all times? And how did they even find out about her and this… bet?"

Edward swayed slightly, and ran his hand through his hair in total frustration and defeat, presenting to everyone he didn't know, rather than admitting this, out loud.

Silence filled the room as everyone remained in thought. My heart beat was even audible to my ears.

"We have to act now," Edward's voices increased hysteria, through his comment. Jasper seemed to calm Edward slightly, as he glanced towards Alice, worriedly, whom replied with a concerned shrug.

Then he disappeared from my sight, followed by Emmet and Jasper. They had used their supernatural speed to follow Edward.

"No!" I tried to convince them, "Jacob isn't– "

But I failed to complete the sentence, for they couldn't hear me anyway.

Emotion and tears swelled again. I hugged my knees to my chest, in an attempt to keep my body whole and began to cry.

For myself.

For my family.

For Edward.

**A/n: Done.**

**This is going to be a really short author note, and I won't do the song choice thing because I'm in a rush at the moment.**

**And if you're wondering why I have it in the first place? Its just cos I feel like it :P**

**Thanks to Moni for beta-ing.**

**Please Review**

**Enjoy!**


	7. Accusations

**Accusations**

**EPOV**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. They belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

I abruptly came to a stop, outside the confines of the Blacks' dwelling. I growled deeply as I noticed that shabby-haired boy, making his appearance at the front door. He took a few steps towards me and stopped; allowing a decent distance between us if one of us were to attack.

My anger reeled, how DARE he even contemplate to steal Bella from me, let alone enforcing it to happen.

I realised that Jasper and Emmett were following me close behind, probably anticipating an attack, so they could prevent it. Although Jasper surprised me; instead of being there for support he quickly pleaded for us to leave this place.

My anger flared again; my own brother trying to convince me to leave the situation as it was, is complete… blasphemy. For once he is acting the stereotypical sibling; an obnoxious, inconsiderate git.

God- I was blaming this on Jasper?! This is the entire _dog's _damn fault, HE'S the egocentric brat. I will SO kill him, if ANYTHING has happened to Bella, even a mere scratch; although how could I tell what was Jacob's, in between the omnipresent scars she already obtains? –I'll blame them all on him; I knew her clumsiness would come in handy.

ARGH. These irrational thoughts rushed through my mind. What was I thinking?! She… she lov- She _cared_ for him. For me to harm him would cause excruciating pain, as hard as it is to admit. I sneered menacingly, in response to my thoughts, when I glanced back to Jacob Black.

His whole demeanour was significantly slumped and tattered and he even had grown his own set of purple bruises under his eyes. The dishevelled Jacob, made me feel somewhat superior- I had Bella and since then my appearance seemed to increase its glow. I know that sounds foolish and naïve, but there was no point in hiding my own feelings; I liked this new position of power.

Jacob emitted a deep, loud growl, rising from his chest.

_Damn bloodsucker. The treaty- he has no right to be here! I was already miserable enough, and with that leech in my vicinity, it only gets worse.  
_

"What are you doing here?!" he spat, through his clenched teeth, threateningly.

I ignored his reaction of our unexpected and somewhat unwelcomed arrival and I approached him, not leaving his malicious eyes.

"Where is Bella?" I demanded.

Jacob's mind split into an array of thoughts, jumping from one conclusion to another, fuelling my rage, further.

Jasper made an attempt to calm me, which immediately backfired; I held enough vexation, to not only deflect the calm, but pass my anger to Jasper, which would be reflected, causing my fury to rise, yet again.

_Edward- stop, calm._

Jacob's eyes immediately lit up in ire, he balled his fists, trying to stay in his human form.

"YOU MEAN YOU LOST BELLA?!"

Without warning, he violently grasped my shirt in desperation, however my reactions were slightly faster and I shoved him off- I would have to wash my hands later, I shuddered; the putrid odour wafted to my nose.

Engrossed in my thoughts, I realised I had let a second slip passed, enough for Jacob to lunge forward at me, or rather my shirt- would Alice be pissed or what; Jacob stood there, holding a fistful of material, staring at my poised figure, revealing the majority of my chest. **(A/N: How sexy -drools - xD)**

This aggravated me further and I was amazed, myself that the boundaries of my stray emotions were never-ending.

"How dare you." I hissed, at his crude comment, although it was undeniable that I had, indeed lost Bella- but I would NEVER admit that out loud, especially to this fool.

Through the constant frustration the guilt and sorrow grew as did my doubt that Jacob kidnapped Bella. I had no other conclusion, so I didn't dismiss the thought, just yet.

"Don't give me this crap," I smiled, without humour, rather disbelief.

"I know you know where she is," I narrowed my eyes, knowing that they revealed the truth; I didn't believe he had Bella- I lost her.

Jacob growled, baring his teeth, as my eyes started to shine with guilt and defeat, but his next thoughts wiped these petty emotions away, replaced with determination to kill Jacob Black.

_Oh fuck that bloodsucker.  
WAIT-_

_Fuck YOU, you parasite. I have no effing clue where she is, it is your lack of ability to care for her, that she got lost- and you better find her. I fucking swear I have nothing to do with it, so piss off!  
_

Simultaneously, Billy lumbered behind Jacob, which seemed to calm me, as it prevented me from cutting Jacob's neck in one clean swipe. If only Bella new my real feelings, she would be disgusted to see the deplorable monster I am- my heart desired to spill his blood, in front of his father, right now, in vengeance.

Bella. Think of Bella- it would kill her if I attacked him.

"Come inside," he ordered gruffly, mildly irate with the whole situation.

My eyes swiftly passed to Jacob's, to observe his reaction, which obviously presented he was peeved; he stood there death-glaring me, until he reluctantly turned his back and began to walk inside.

Wordlessly, we found ourselves situated in their shabby living room, where Jacob comfortably sat down, however I refused to make contact with the furniture Emmett and Jasper followed my lead.

"The commotion you just caused outside is overwhelmingly stupid," Billy grumbled.

I didn't respond, from the lack of necessity to, or rather, I knew it would not change anything and frankly I couldn't be bothered.

"To contemplate the result of that fight if it had continued…" Billy stated, directly to Jacob, unleashing his anger, upon his face, to see the extent of his naïve actions.

"Anyway. What possesses you Cullens to disobey the treaty, huh?" he eyed me, feigning confidence and superiority; however, this backfired as I felt more intimidating, than prior this.

"Bella's… gone," I stated flatly, trying to hide the remorse my mouth held. I looked to Jacob, implying that he was the culprit.

_Edward, let's go home, they have nothing to do with it. _

"Your accusations are rather harsh, when we are not guilty of such a sin."

I resisting from retaliating; _maybe _they were speaking honestly. What was I kidding-?

He was right and I knew it.

**A/N: OK, sorry for the late update.**

**It has been a busy week. School holidays start soon for us Aussies, so maybe I will be more productive…I hope.**

**This was a more fun chapter to write. Arguments are always good. Yes, a bit of swearing…that's why its T for Teen. **

**Again big thanks to Moni for your total awesomeness.**

**Song of the Week:**

**Wrap Myself Around You – Kill Hannah**

**Yes..ok then.**

**Please Review.**

**Thankyou everyone for your reviews so far, they mean so much even if I can't get replying to all of them.**

**-Izzy.**

**AND AS A FINAL NOTE Edward is a sexy beast xD**


	8. Attempt

**Attempt**

**BPOV**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Twilight, they clearly belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

He was gone. I crumbled to my knees.

"No," I whispered repetitively, unable to grasp the truth.

I couldn't be dead…a ghost perhaps? Maybe I was living in a fantasy world of the past and memories.

But what did it matter what I was?

I would never be able to hold him again, touch his cold yet burning skin. I would never experience the tranquillity of being clasped in his arms, the world, beholding only us two. Never again would I gaze lovingly into his eyes and for the sentiment replicated. Not even a mere goodbye.

Water was streaming uncontrollably down my face as I tentatively pulled my knees to my chest, taking a substantial amount of minimal strength I held.

"Why…?"

Eventually I peered up with my tear-stricken eyes. The silence was overwhelming; I could almost hear the blood throbbing in my head, which was immensely dull, compared to my aching heart.

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply – it seemed to clear my mind. My pulse slowed as I calmed down. I needed to think of the future. I couldn't spend forever crying for my loss, there must be something beyond this point.

Hope sparked at this thought and ideas soon coursed through my mind. Letting out a hoarse sigh, I stretched my legs out in front of me, enjoying the feeling of my muscles tightening from prior stiffness.

I glanced at my surroundings, instantly observing the lights; it was night time. I also noticed faint voices, however as I strained to decipher the speech I was determined to get back on track.

I scrutinised the body I could see; I was filthy, especially my hands, covered in grime. My hygiene was terrible; I _needed _a shower, but that was impossible… wasn't it?

My eyes narrowed, deep in concentration, when the evident hit me, in almost disgust. If I was touching the ground, I would be able to touch other objects, hence I could write a message- my mind only now grasped that concept; so much wasted time. Maybe this wasn't the finale.

I steadily pulled myself to stand, gathering any equilibrium I obtained. With a slight sway, I staggered to the table, ignoring the slightly louder voices.

I clutched the table edge- it felt solid, but… numb? My eyes widened in alarm; it wasn't right, my hands began to shake at the dysphemism- I would _die _without the message. What if I couldn't pass it on? Did I dare force upon the possibility of more despair?

I had to.

The inward debate scared me; should I have waited 'til I was mentally stronger? I immediately threw the thought away; I needed to.

I searched for a writing instrument when I so a drawing, unmistakably, Alice's- the impeccable realism characterised her flawless technique. I gasped at the truck drawn- evidently from a vision, a vision involving me… and my truck and the fatal accident.

My 'Parson hands' reached to lift the pencil, which I could barely feel. I frantically tried to move it but made no progress. Again, I asked the inevitable question; why?

Would I never be saved?

The prospect created tears to brim in my eyes as the apprehension overwhelmed me- there _had _to be another solution.

Edward's hostile glare seared my heart, consequentially; I winced at the poignant memory. The memory of when I walked out to the table to believe the Cullen's would notice me, but they didn't – to them I was invisible.

No, that just a coincidence – I was trying to hope that it was a sign.

I fidgeted in the silence, expecting an epiphany to appear, but nothing came so I decided to get some sleep.

Cautiously, I climbed the stairs, to Edward's familiar room and simultaneous of my arrival, I felt comforted by the welcoming vibe.

However, alas, Edward wasn't there.

I sighed at my optimistic anticipation and lay on the floor, where, surprisingly, it felt safe… right.

I curled into a ball, handing myself to unconsciousness.

******A/N: Here we go. Its holidays and I'm sorry guys for the week long wait, but I was sorta grounded from the computer all week, and got caught up in other engagements all week also, so no time to write.**

******Sorry to Moni as well..i couldn't contact you. / **

******I hope your enjoying your time in Queensland :) **

******Well I'll post the next chapter by the end of this week if I can, again depending on how busy I am.**

******Yup, in this chap Bella is exploring some of her abilities. Bit short, but I hope its alright still.**

******Please Review .**

******Izzy-**


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